As a parent, it is crucial to impart essential life skills to your toddler, including teaching them how to behave appropriately in different situations. Instilling discipline in children is a crucial aspect of their upbringing, but it requires patience, consistency, and an understanding of what methods are effective and healthy. Employing the right techniques can help your child develop good habits and make them more capable of coping with different circumstances. Effective discipline strategies can also help in improving their social skills and emotional intelligence, which are essential for their overall well-being.
In This Article:
I. Normal Behavior of Toddlers
4. Wanting to do Things Independently
Including these weirds behavior:
II. Effective Discipline Strategies for Toddlers
5. Anticipating Future Problems
III. Spanking And Harsh Words Are Not Effective Discipline Strategies
It's important to note that discipline doesn't mean punishment, and it doesn't have to involve physical or emotional harm. Effective discipline strategies involve setting boundaries and providing guidance to help children learn right from wrong.
It's also important for parents to keep in mind that toddlers are naturally curious beings, wired to explore and experiment with their environment. What some parents may label as "misbehavior" is often just a part of this natural development process.
I. Normal Behavior of Toddlers
1. Tantrums
When toddlers are upset, they may cry, shout, and move around a lot. This is called a tantrum, which is a normal emotional outburst that many children experience.
2. Saying "No"
Around 18 months of age, toddlers may start saying "No." This can be frustrating for parents, but it's their way of expressing that they don't like something, they're feeling frustrated, or they want to do something on their own.
3. Picky Eating
Most children are willing to try new foods between 6 to 18 months, but around age 2, it's common for them to become more selective about what they eat.
4. Wanting to do Things Independently
Toddlers like to do things by themselves, but they may become upset when they lack the skills to accomplish their goals.
5. Hitting and Biting
Toddlers may exhibit aggressive behavior like hitting when they are angry. This behavior is developmentally appropriate since they haven't yet learned how to control their emotions and follow social norms.
6. Bedtime Struggles
Many toddlers resist going to bed and figuring out the right balance of naps and nighttime sleep can be challenging for parents.
Including these weirds behavior:
7. Playing With Poop
Playing with poop, like self-touch, is a way for toddlers to explore their bodies. They are often curious about what comes out of their body and how it feels, and it may indicate that they are ready for potty training. It's important to teach them where poop should go.
8. Imaginary Play
It's normal for toddlers to engage in imaginative play and talk to themselves, even if they are alone or with other children. There is no cause for concern in either case.
9. Nudity
Some toddlers may refuse to wear certain clothing due to sensory issues. Clothing that is scratchy, ill-fitting, or too warm can trigger toddler clothing rejection
II. Effective Discipline Strategies for Toddlers
It's important to customize your discipline strategies to fit your child's unique needs, but these tactics are generally helpful for toddlers:
1. Calming Techniques
Toddlers can have difficulty controlling their emotions, and they may need guidance to learn how to regulate their feelings. When your toddler is upset and unable to manage their behavior, you can help them by providing calming techniques.
Some children respond well to a "time-in" approach, where you bring them to a peaceful, safe room and hold them in your lap until they calm down. Other kids prefer to be left alone in a child-proofed area to work out their emotions on their own. Depending on the situation, a positive "time out" or "time-in" may be more appropriate
2. Teach and Demonstrate
Toddlers tend to learn by observing others' behavior. So, if you want to teach your child new skills, modeling the behavior yourself is the quickest way to do it. Instead of just telling your child to use words like "please" and "thank you," demonstrate these manners yourself in your everyday interactions with your child and others, such as when you're at the grocery store. However, be mindful that your child can also pick up negative behaviors from you if they see you doing them.
Merely telling your toddler what to do from afar is not an effective approach. Toddlers require visual demonstrations to understand what is expected of them. To communicate with your toddler, you should ensure that you have their full attention by getting down to their level, making eye contact, and providing clear and concise instructions. Rather than just saying "Pet the dog gently," demonstrate what it looks like by getting up close.
Some children in this age group may benefit significantly from hand-over-hand guidance when they are learning new skills and behaviors. For instance, when teaching your child to pet a dog gently, you could place your hand over theirs and gently pet the dog, while saying, "Gentle touches." Then, when you notice your child being too rough, repeat the instruction. Over time, they will learn to be more gentle.
3. Get to the Root Cause
Even when you can't tell what's going on, there's usually a reason why your toddler is acting out. Hunger, tiredness, and lack of exercise can all lead to behavior issues. Toddlers can struggle to communicate their needs, so it's important to try to figure out what's behind tantrums or other problems.
If you're having trouble figuring out what your child needs, try to understand what they're trying to say and give them the words to express themselves. For example, if your child wants to eat a different meal, suggest that they say, "Egg please, Mommy!".
4. Pick Your Battles
If your child isn't in danger and is getting enough attention for good behavior, it might be best to ignore bad behavior. Ignoring bad behavior can also teach your child about the natural consequences of their actions. For example, if they keep dropping their cookies on purpose, they won't have any cookies left to eat. Or if they throw and break their toy, they won't be able to play with it anymore. Eventually, they'll learn to take care of their things and behave better.
5. Anticipating Future Problems
Always being proactive and anticipating how to make the day successful. This involves creating a conducive environment for good behavior. For instance, if your child enjoys dressing themselves, ensure that you have plenty of pants with elastic waistbands and easy-to-wear shirts to minimize frustration.
To prevent conflicts during playdates, it is advisable to plan. Ensure that there are enough toys to share, including duplicates if necessary, and a variety of activities to avoid boredom.
A child who is hungry, thirsty, tired, or rushed is more likely to act out, so skipping snacks or scheduling a playdate during nap time is a guaranteed ride on the Meltdown Express.
6. Offer Choices
Providing choices is essential when dealing with toddlers as they are exploring their independence. Giving them secure and sensible opportunities to express their independence can be accomplished by asking them questions such as, "Do you want your juice in the red cup or the green cup?" or "Would you prefer to go to the park in your wagon or the stroller?" Toddlers crave autonomy, and when they are told they cannot have something, it only intensifies their desire for it.
7. Teaching
Even though it may not seem like a disciplinary method, teaching your child is essential to help them learn appropriate behavior. This involves guiding them on how to behave instead of solving every problem for them, such as saying, "I know you want to go down the slide, but Andy is in front of you. He will go and then you can go”. By observing your child's behavior, you can identify what triggers certain behaviors and how to assist them.
8. Consequences
Children cannot follow rules if they do not understand them. Therefore, it is crucial to provide clear and straightforward instructions and regulations. Additionally, it is essential to establish eye contact and ensure that your child is paying attention while you communicate with them.
To appeal to toddlers who want to please, you can use instructions that include "I" such as, "I'm scared you will fall off the chair. Please sit down." It is also crucial to be transparent about the consequences of breaking the rules, such as saying, "We only draw on paper. If you draw on the wall again, we will have to put the crayons away".
9. Set Limits
An effective way to communicate limits to your children is by informing them of what you will do or allow, rather than just telling them what they should do. For example, you could say, "I will be happy to take you to your friend's place once you have finished your chores." This approach helps your children understand the consequences of their actions and gives them a clear understanding of what is expected of them before they can have what they want.
10. Time Out
When using timeout as a consequence, a good rule of thumb is to use one minute for each year of the child's age. It's more important to tie the timeout to the misbehavior than the specific location where it takes place. Choose a quiet place where your child won't be able to get your attention or be rewarded accidentally. If your child is having a tantrum, start the timeout once they have calmed down and can keep their behavior under control for the duration of the timeout.
11. Use Positive Statements
It's important to frame your requests in a positive way. We often phrase requests and directives negatively, which can lead to children focusing on what they can't have. By using positive language and focusing on what they can have or what you will allow, you can increase cooperation and reduce arguments. Instead of telling your child what they can't have, tell them what they can have or what you will allow, and you'll likely see a more positive response.
12. Praise
Make sure to recognize and praise your child's positive behaviors, such as when they hang up their coat. Many times, parents only focus on negative behaviors and overlook the things their children do well.
13. Get Someone Else Involved
If you are too angry to control yourself when dealing with your child, it might help to involve someone else who is not as emotionally invested in the situation. This reduces the chance that you will physically harm your child.
III. Spanking And Harsh Words Are Not Effective Discipline Strategies
Spanking and harsh words are not effective discipline strategies for children and can cause harm. Research shows that physical punishment, such as spanking and slapping, and verbal punishment, such as yelling or shaming, do not work well to correct a child's behavior. In addition to being ineffective, these forms of discipline can also have negative effects on a child's long-term physical and mental health.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises against using physical punishment and instead encourages teaching good behavior. Spanking, in particular, can create an unhealthy cycle where children become more aggressive and angry, leading to more misbehavior and further spanking. Furthermore, children who are spanked may learn that causing pain is acceptable when feeling frustrated, even towards loved ones, potentially leading them to hit others when they don't get what they want.
Physical punishment can have lasting negative effects on children. Research shows that spanking and other forms of physical punishment not only fail to correct behavior but also increase aggression and anger in children. Additionally, physical punishment can cause injury and leave measurable marks on the brain and body. Young adults who were spanked repeatedly have been found to have less gray matter in the part of the brain responsible for self-control and lower IQ scores.
Verbal abuse is also harmful to children. Harsh verbal discipline, including yelling and using words to cause emotional pain or shame, can lead to more misbehavior and mental health problems in children. This type of discipline may become more common as children get older and can lead to more behavior problems and depression symptoms in teenagers.
IV. Bottom Line
As a parent, it's important to recognize when you feel overwhelmed and take a break if needed. Ensure your child is in a safe place and take a few minutes to relax, take deep breaths, or call a friend. Once you feel calmer, return to your child, embrace each other, and start fresh.
If you don't handle a situation well, don't fret. Reflect on what you could have done differently and aim to do better next time. If you feel you've made a mistake, apologize to your child and explain how you'll handle the situation in the future. It's important to follow through with your plan as this sets a good example for your child on how to learn from mistakes.
I hope this article is helpful for you as you navigate the ups and downs of parenting. Remember, no one is a perfect parent, but with patience, consistency, and a lot of love, you can help your child grow into a happy and healthy adult. Best of luck to you and your family!